"And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you." - The Chaos of Stars
Two years ago on this morning, I woke up as Basil's wife. For the first year I found it really strange introducing or talking about Basil as my 'husband' and would instead opt to use his name instead, regardless of if the person knew who he was or not. Honestly, I think people usually had "who the heck is Basil" running through their head. Now, it feels so natural and I can't believe how quickly two years has flown by.
As a little girl I always looked up to my parents and knew I wanted a love and marriage just like theirs. My parents knew each other two weeks before my Dad proposed, and a few days ago they celebrated their 36th Wedding Anniversary. I am turning 30 at the end of this year, so that's six years more than I have been alive! What a real life fairytale. They have been through so much in that 36 years, and when I am around them I still sense that they would do anything for each other.
As I grew up I could see that regardless of what obstacle was thrown their way they dealt with everything head on - together. Together, is the word that defines marriage for me personally. Suddenly your lives become intertwined and although it's great have your own friends, your own interests and have your time without your partner, the strongest and most succesful relationships I've known put importance on doing things together. Making decisions together, supporting one another, spending quality time, and dealing with obstacles as a team. You should go into a marriage knowing that everything isn't always going to be perfect, but that you always have someone by your side for life, and you're no longer walking it alone.
It was a huge adjustment for me at first. We moved in together for the first time when we returned from Santorini never having lived together before. Lets just say that toothbrushes being left out of the shower was a constant battle between us (I still laugh about this) because who on earth brushes their teeth in the shower? Well, I now realise how annoying it can be because I too have started brushing my teeth in the shower now. It wasn't long before we knew what made each other tick with running a household.
We tried to make that 'honeymoon period' happen, but really what even is that?! Its defined as the time at the beginning of a relationship or marriage, where everything seems perfect, you and your partner agree on everything, and you want to always do the same activities. Well when we got back from our honeymoon, we definitely didn't agree on the same apartment that's for sure. You see Basil is super practical, he looks for ergonomic features, and prioritises function. I on the other hand, look at aesthetics and form. Put simply - I book a hotel based on the pictures and Basil bases it on convenience of location, price and reads all the reviews... So we had to learn to compromise. This difference however has become very handy when working on projects together such as allthedresses.com.au where both form and function are needed! So instead of now looking at it as a negative, I see it as a positive!
Ultimately i've learnt it's not all about perfection, it's about realness. Perfection is described as being completely free from faults or defects, and lets face it no one is this?!? If after two years, thirty six years or fifty years you would still choose that person, over and over with all your differences, well I think that's pretty damn special and something to be celebrated!
I would love to hear your best piece of advice for newly married couples, or for those who've added a child to the mix! If you have something you'd like to share, please comment below.
This post is dedicated to my parents, who I'll look up to always & my incredible husband who whilst starting Olympia has continued to be the biggest support EVER! It wouldn't be possible with you x
Wedding Video by Studio Phosart